In this November Month in Review, we look back at three big topics that shape how we think and feel every day: politics, technology, and the balance between our head and our heart. First, we talk about how politics can fill us with fear, stress, and “us vs. them” thinking – and how taking breaks from the news can actually help us feel calmer and think more clearly. Then, with guest Lisa Danahy, we explore how today’s fast, noisy technology can overload our brains, leave us tired, and make real connection harder, and why simple things like real conversations, shared meals, and time away from screens help us stay grounded. Finally, we learn how our thoughts and feelings work together, and why it’s tough to make good decisions when our emotions are running wild. This month’s episodes remind us that even in a busy, stressful world, we can build healthier minds by slowing down, paying attention, and choosing connection over chaos.
Tune in to see the November Month in Review Through a Therapist’s Eyes.
Links referenced during the show:
https://www.throughatherapistseyes.com/category/podcasts/monthinreview
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Episode #337 Transcription
Chris Gazdik (00:00.544) Alright, hello, this is through a therapist eyes. We are doing episode 336 which is the which month because they're blending together I guess right now we're doing November reviewing right Almost end of the year in the middle of the holidays. So welcome. We hope that your holiday season is going well you're having a fun and safe time with family friends and all of the things that now Christmas is full bore so at least here in the States we're running towards Christmas, which is Almost end of the year. Chris Gazdik (00:29.588) my goodness, only three weeks away. Is that right? One, two, three. I'm looking at my camera, Kyle. have Kyle hanging out with us. Mr. King himself for the month in review. How are you, sir? Doing well, doing well. Thanks for having me back. love doing this live. We've switched with the virtual deal and so the month in review we decided to actually be present. It's not better than that. That's actually a little foreshadowing believe it or not. Neil comes out behind the curtain and how are you sir? Chris Gazdik (01:10.498) Nice. What is a break? Do we get that? I'm actually taking a vacation out of town this year for Christmas. We're going to Phoenix, Arizona. And if you're a longtime listener of the show, I talked about something called slot canyoning, which I am super excited about, which I'll leave that. Maybe we'll get to that in the review, which we're going to do of the year. So we got a little bit of a different schedule. Usually, if you're finding us for the first time now, we do a month in reviews. Nice. Where are going? Kyle King (01:20.907) not Chris Gazdik (01:40.076) the last month of the last week of the month and we didn't do that because of Thanksgiving so we're doing today the review of November and then Neil I think you and I kind of talked about a little scheduling where we're gonna do sort of a full get-together with like everybody next week. Give us the idea of what we're doing. Chris Gazdik (02:33.966) January will be back to normal in 2026. So this is as we said through Therapeutize where normally we have a panel of therapists. Today we have Neil and Kyle. They're people but they're very knowledgeable about everything we talked about and they become more knowledgeable. Neil you might as well be a therapist at this point right? You know, sleeping a holiday in? not there not a third Chris Gazdik (03:01.24) Probably true. All let me get through this. This is Not to Delivery Therapy Services in any way. We are hitting you on December the 4th, which is Thursday. And hey, I got a couple of books out. I think they'd be great for presents at the end of the year. Through a Therapistize, Re-understanding Your Emotions of Becoming Your Best Self. And then, you wouldn't believe, through a Therapistize yet again, Re-understanding Your Marriage of Becoming Your Best as a Spouse. Great gifts to get. Really, they're cool books. I think they're very helpful. small chapters on real therapy moments. Subscribe, click, do the bell. John Pope is not here, but he will be personally upset. If any of we don't get five stars at your job, we try to give you some content, entertain you a little bit. Contact it through therapistize.com. Listen, I love to say this because it really is true and it's what we try to do. That rhymes, right? This is the human emotional experience, which we endeavor to figure out together. At the end of the year, I also want to highlight Reed Ferguson. dot com r e i d t f e r g u s o n dot com he is a musician who did that cool little intro music for us have you heard that anything we don't get that on youtube though neil that sucks Yeah. Chris Gazdik (04:21.934) would be cool. All right. We got all kinds of new things going on. Okay. All of that ado. So what do we do here? We have a lot to cover actually. And these shows in November were cool. Honestly, if you ask me, they're kind of linked up a little bit with my newest favorite topic that I think is a very serious topic for all of us all around humanity. Possibly the most important in at least a mental health capacity, which leads to a lot of things that we experience, right? The information age so we'll definitely talk about that but before we do We have this tradition as Neil said we're gonna have a little bit of a down-the-rabbit hole battle I'm excited about that to be honest with you Kyle. You're gonna go You got I mean he's the OG man, yeah, he's the OG and He'd come up with some pretty quirky things that are mental health related. Hopefully, right? I gotta think of something good now. You do. Chris Gazdik (05:22.328) So we start to show in the month in review a little fun thing called down the rabbit hole with Kyle King. I got something interesting. guess because I was on vacation, I saw dolphins while I was on vacation. I was like, hmm. Did not swim, not this time, not. I have done it before. It's fun. Did you swim? Chris Gazdik (05:42.75) Yeah, very cool. Did they make you a whole fish though? no, no, we got to ride and hold on to them and stuff. So this is kind of cool. But I, here's what I found interesting. It's like, do you know dolphins have names for each other? That would be fun. Chris Gazdik (05:58.286) He's not. Yeah, so when they're born, dolphins communicate clicks, know, signals, these kinds of noises, right? But they have a unique sound for each dolphin. And that is by in quotes, their name. And that's how they call each other. So much so, and the mental aspect of the dolphin is just amazing to see because they can hold on to that memory of that sound for that name. for as much as 20 years. it was, it's so, it's kind of cool. They're like a little group, they're click or whatever, right? Because they do have, you know, different ones that, you know, stay shallow waters, some that say deeper waters. I think I read there's like 32 different species of dolphins and each one has their own dialect. So it's very cool to understand that. So the Pacific Ocean bottlenose dolphin versus the Atlantic Ocean bottlenose dolphin, two different dialects. Wow. Chris Gazdik (06:59.326) Wow. So they go to like Indonesian dolphins, Chinese dolphins, British dolphins. Very cool. Kyle King (07:04.642) Yes sir. But it all has to do with the center around their environment. Why the different dialects go, whether it's murky water or clear water or something. Gotta be a lot of species of dolphins, right? It was like 30, I think I read about 32 something. Yes, it's neat to see but they're very so smart though. I you know, they're one of the mammals that can actually Recognize themselves in mirrors I did read about that and they can they'll look at themselves in a way that they're looking at spots They can't typically see to for whatever reason so it's neat to read about them a little bit So that was reading reading deep about that one. That's pretty interesting did not know any of that before I started reading about it So did this bring a question to your mind or informative or like what did it make you wonder about? Kyle King (07:59.98) Yeah, because you always read about, you always hear about dolphins and how they interact with humans, how they can protect humans. And one of the things that I also found out as well is like they can recognize humans, especially, you know, certain ones. there's been stories about them. specific people? Yeah. So there's been stories about them coming up to the same boat or the same group of divers or whatever. You know, with its trainers, they have different trainers, you know, in, you Sea World. They have different trainers that they approve of or like or dislike or you know these are the kinds of things. So it's amazing I'm thinking huh how it's amazing how much similar kind of like their intellect is to how we think about people. It's like there's people we like people we want to hang out with. That's what they want to do. They want to interact. They want to understand what's new. Why do they come they want to be inquisitive? That is fascinating. Neil, he's good at this one. I gotta say that's pretty good. Kyle King (09:31.016) That is a good question. well, the primate thing, they, the primates, they're the ones that also look in mirrors. do, I did read about that. They didn't read about that in the names though. No. Kyle King (09:59.596) Because to your point, calling the middle name, I read is like, here's this big group of dolphins. They'll make this little sound, that's specific name. It's like, okay, now that dolphin's got to come wherever, right? So maybe they are using that middle name. Colorado State University scientists have called elephants by their names and the elephants called back. Wild African elephants address each other with names like calls, a rare ability among non-human animals according to a new study published in Nature Ecology and Evolution. that's for elephants maybe do the same similar thing. I was wondering that and the pigs are pretty smart too, Pigs, elephants, dolphins. yeah, pigs are smart. I wonder if there's any more, I'm not gonna try to research it. Kyle King (11:01.743) When they had that earthquake, several months back, all the adult elephants surrounded the young ones. there's a protection yeah for sure but you know where my brain went as you're going through this is fascinating you know human behavior you know I'm a junkie for live competition shows like Survivor Right. Big. we are too. You are you love that. Yeah. Well, you know, it's funny to me that they always want to develop a name for the group. is like a psychological thing. We talk about tribalism tonight, actually a little bit. We will. And and so they always have to have some cool name, you know, like we're the hitchhikers or we're the the stabbing gorillas or something or, know, some of the cool names you can think of. yeah. But they stay in that group. And even when they merge, they stay in that group. It's amazing to watch it. Chris Gazdik (11:50.394) Yep. dynamics are pretty cool. social. I mean, listen, we are pack animals. We're pack creatures and we don't want to be alone. I don't think animals are too far from the same as you're talking about mammals. So, all right, pretty cool. All right. You got anything else? we moving on? I think that's good for now right now. I gotta think of good one for next week though. That's going to be a fun competition. Make it make an impossible question for the panel to have to answer. I I would say. OK, we had some cool shows. Episode 334, politics, community and mental health. We got political. I heard. did listen to most of it. Yes, I did. That's awesome. That was the throwback to my old co-host, Craig, man. We would get political on the show a little bit. So I did a throwback to that. But for the reason of episode 334 is technology, humans, greatest emotional challenge. Conversation with Lisa Dana Haig, dramatic pause. that is, I think, a huge conversation. I kind of want to be selfish and stay there on that show tonight. But then we also got Chris Gazdik (13:05.006) Episode 336, intellectual versus emotional level of functioning. yeah, we got the three questions for the politics show. does political influence your emotional state day to day? Tension, hope, fear, disconnection? Question mark, right? To what makes political messages so emotionally activating? I would say that it definitely is nowadays. It is. And what is the most powerful political tool? I guess you see from the notes and you listen to the show. Let's start there. You know, we used to so first of all, this is not going to be like, hey, I'm on the right and I'm on the left. And this is what I think should happen with this policy. And hey, we just got raided in Charlotte by the ICE people. They came to town. They call it Charlotte's Web. Why did we have to use a cool book for the name? I was like, come on, we could do better now. Right, Neil? I know you got a comment there. I don't know that. Chris Gazdik (14:02.145) I know you do. Chris Gazdik (14:08.696) I mean, you could do all kinds of things with Charlotte. Come on. Like the Charlotte sting. That would be perfect. the sting. That just came. That was that You gotta have one more another. mean, Webb is kind of perfect, though, I guess, if you're trying to round people up or whatever they're doing. Anyway, this is not the political show for your persuasion or your whatever. It's really from an angle of like, what happens in our community? What is going on? with mental health in this. And so what do you think guys? What is, are there other tools? Maybe you already know. I'm sure you probably ought to know what I thought of and what we talked about as the most powerful tool. But what tools, if you will, maybe I'll frame it this way, used to be used more and now are more prevalent. gosh, comes to mind most right now social media. All the social media is the most powerful tool right now because people, know a lot of young folks that that's all they do is get their news from social media. Yep. Chris Gazdik (15:13.589) No Chris Gazdik (16:06.05) You don't have a basic platform of common understanding. And we know that things like AI, what AI has done, how it manipulates the elections in other countries, it's being used by nation states in order to manipulate elections and stuff like that. So it's hard to figure out what's real, what's fake. that's a big concern for me. what's going to come from this, but I want to pose the question, what tools were used to be used? Not just the microphones, obviously, and people would use bull horns back in the day, before we had advanced technology stuff, but if you think about what emotions and what tools, particularly from the emotional realm, do you think used to really appeal? Newspapers obviously, right? Yeah, right, right. Thank you. Kyle King (17:09.24) TV, Kyle King (17:38.402) And the fact that the information's come at them so fast, it's, I mean, it's snap of the finger nowadays. Indeed. I guess I'm just wondering, you know, if I'm naive to think across the world really too, not just here, but you know, when you think of political movements like Jonah the Ark or different groups of people that would angle for power and whatnot, what would they appeal to? Was there more of an appeal to an ideal? Hey, that rhymes also. I'm full of it tonight. Don't look at me like that. You should just see on YouTube what Neil just did to me. you didn't have the camera on you. Just let people wonder. No, really, was there an ideal? Ideals? Or what kind of emotional appeals were there, do you think? I want to say there have to be some type of deal, something that appeals to that person that you're trying to convince to get, yeah, exactly, right? Hey, look, I'm going to do this. We're not going to pay taxes or we're not going to have businesses open on Sunday or whatever the case may be, but there's something that drives that initiative to want them to, hey, come join me. Vote for me. Chris Gazdik (18:57.582) That's interesting. Yeah, Carl, because I, you know, as I'm listening to you, I think of my ex who has always turned off my apologies. Like, I don't care about you. Like, you know, she'd be in the background. I'd be watching my stuff, you know, kind of just like this person comes on. I have a plan. She's I have a plan. There are my plans. know, she comes in. I have a plan. You know, classic, right? She would get so sick and tired of hearing like your plan to do X. But that's different than what it is now, isn't it? I mean. What is your plan almost doesn't matter as much anymore. It feels like because the number one emotional tool that is used, what do y'all think? We talked about it extensively on the show. Fear. I want to scare you into voting for me because I'm not a scary, you know, the other side is terrible. Chris Gazdik (20:19.662) intensively. Chris Gazdik (20:28.622) Wasn't at all as a matter of fact, I was thinking of your thing when you were talking Kyle I was so impressed that Bill Clinton came on MTV. I was like, oh man, you're talking to me and I don't remember a lick of fear about that No, there wasn't. No, I remember that. Yeah, no, there wasn't. Reagan as I was we were younger. I don't know if you remember Reagan at all Chris Gazdik (20:54.526) He was a country bumpkin kind of fella, comedian, movie guy that came in talking about some things that he wanted to do. And I don't remember having a lick of fear there either. No, he wasn't bashing the other side at all. He's just saying, I'm going to do this. This is what we need to do. And this is how we're going to fix things. That's what I remember. I remember a guy, Howard Dean, he got he got jammed because of the Howard Dean screen. I don't remember that. man, he was like we're going to Texas and we're going to Nevada and we're going to Arizona and New York and Hampshire and he just kept on naming states and he's like and he started to get this weird creepy long scream if you're listening to this on YouTube you need to switch over a moment and type in Howard Dean scream and You'll hear his voice just like explode as he's doing this done He was done right there. It was there was no recovering from that Chris Gazdik (21:52.876) because it was like a weird feeling people got. And now when you think of fear, it's like, that's it. You know, it is, it is perpetrated. is tick-tocked. is highlighted. It is emphasized. And I don't think that's just the United States thing. I mean, Germany, mean, look at Israel. mean, my goodness, they're going through all kinds of stuff right now. have a lot of reasons to be fearful, but, you know, what are we doing to better our lives? That just doesn't, it doesn't have. No, it's not that mentality right now. It's like, to your point, it's that fear factor. And this is what I also see is like, lot of people don't educate themselves. When they hear something, they don't go out and research it. It's like, can they do this? Can they do it or are they just trusting? Chris Gazdik (22:55.221) man. Chris Gazdik (23:01.08) really understand that. that true? And the reason why I ask you that is because I just don't engage that way. I don't. So, but algorithms literally like feed you only what you clicked on there. Chris Gazdik (24:02.048) And so we get further siloed, further echo chambered, further stuck in just one simple mentality. Chris Gazdik (24:35.374) You Chris Gazdik (24:51.286) Tomatoes cause cancer, Neil. Chris Gazdik (25:36.942) Oh my gosh, it was feral. That's a good description of that. Let's dive into the mental health of this for a moment because if you really think about what happens in your emotional system when fear really gets triggered. right, and we talked a lot about this. So maybe I'll try to combine a little bit with the last one, 337, where we talked about 336, intellectual versus emotional level of functioning because Casey did an excellent job in that show of talking a lot about how our brain right see on the YouTube I ball up my fist and my arm my forearm is the is the the stem the spine and it connects right up into the brain and the frontal cortex is in the frontal forehead right that's where we think that's where we reason that's Kyle where he said we get skepticism when we get information and whatnot well in the inner part of your brain right where my thumb is right on top of the brain stem in your brain is your limbic system everyone has sort of amygdala fight or flight that's where all of your emotion center is. And so what happens when fear really gets triggered is that guy becomes in charge. And we learned through our conversation in 336 where the systems balance each other out. Your intellectual thinking, your emotional feeling, we want to have that in balance. But when one gets activated, and I'll tell you what, when you hear nowadays, this is going to happen, that's going to happen, my gosh, the fear mongering, your limbic system literally starts, I mean, I have people getting angry. visibly, viscerally angry when they're watching the State of the Union address, at least in the United States. And this part gets out of balance and goes offline and you're just now in a fear state. And your body interprets that exactly like I'm being attacked. my gosh, I was hiking at the Y. I had my earbuds in. And I'm just bebopping along listening about the Pittsburgh Steelers, because that's what I like to listen to. Right. And out of the corner of the eye, I saw something moving and I turned my head and this creature was rapidly coming at me. And I just screamed out, hey, you know, and it was a dog. And the dude was like, Oh no, fluffy. Come here. Fluffy. It was literally like a dog. It might've been peaches. think it was peaches. Your peaches. No. Chris Gazdik (28:02.222) It terrified me in that moment. I had no idea what I was listening to. It was a little bit lower. It was definitely not feral, brother. It was like, I'm going to war. I'm going to have to kill this thing. It's a rabid thing that's coming for me because there's nobody on the trail. My point is my thinking went offline and my system before I even knew what happened, I let out a very loud, low warning yell just by automatic. I was ready to kill it. flight. I had to kill it. I think I even put my hands up like, you whoa, we're going to have to kill this thing. You can't think when you're listening to a speech and you're in a fear state. You just can't think and other things begin to happen where, know, you you you need safety. Well, how do you get safety, Neil, when you're thinking that you're being attacked or you're being overrun, you're being overwhelmed? Right? You need other people. Well, what do we call other people? Well, this is my group. This is my tribe. Now, this is literally how you get into all of these tribalisms and this eco chambers and only thing that you hear is what we can connect with and you're off to the races. Chris Gazdik (30:23.726) So purposely try to pull that brain back together again in therapy with deep breathing, with deescalating. We have fancy terms with it, regulating your emotions that became dysregulated. I I could talk the psychology talk, but basically you're right. You get freaked out, you get another freaked out, and you get another freaked out. Before you know it, you're just freaked out. Chris Gazdik (30:48.142) And Carl I'm gonna kill all Yeah. So I mean, that's what happened. He's right. He's 100 % right. And I'd said that not meaning what I said, but we use those words across the world, not just in the States. keep emphasizing that I'm going to kill this person and people do it. mean, Kirk, what was his name? Terrible event in the United States. Literally just shot. We've had political violence escalating, you know, because people are literally operational on this stuff. National Guardsmen being shot most recently in the states and sorry around the world I don't have a lot of these events, but I know it train station subways and bus stations around the world We have bombings and and and things that are just happening all over the place now It's not entirely new in the history of humanity. I do always like to put that out, but it sure seems more intense Sure seems more dramatic and It is. Kyle King (31:46.84) somebody's ideals differ and that's what takes place. Chris Gazdik (32:42.626) The hands of the devil's work Chris Gazdik (32:56.622) Stay to the union tonight, honey. Tell me what happened. I'm going to bed. Kyle King (33:24.859) Healthy debates have disappeared. Whatever somebody thinks by gosh if you don't believe them well, you're my enemy You're just trying to convince them otherwise. Okay, well, let's get some data behind this. talk about this. Let's have an open conversation about it. And that's a lot of that's missing now. People don't know how to have those. There's also two other elements I want to bring into this that are from a mental health and emotional standpoint. if you think about my experience with peaches, I didn't give you a story recounting that of, this little cute dog rolled up into the... No, I kind of said this terrifying beast rolled up out of the corner of my eye and was running directly at me. I just catastrophized this experience. The truth is, it was a cute little dog. I think it was a golden doodle, to be honest with you. But I just saw a big brown blurb and I'm thinking about immediately, Neil, as you said, took me a couple minutes to calm down because I started thinking about like, what if that was a rabbit animal? mean, that would have been crazy. I would have had to break its neck or done something crazy. Like I'm bringing myself back down. And then I got to listen to the Steelers again and I calmed down and I was OK. But I catastrophize that experience. Right. When you're fearful about something and you recall it, particularly if like you say, Neil, you've had like hit after hit with the Chris Gazdik (34:45.068) you freaking adrenaline dump that you get from being angry. You remember it even worse than it was. Chris Gazdik (35:09.216) It escalated. Chris Gazdik (35:26.348) And here's the other element from a mental health perspective. When you're in this terrible state of mind, are you going to trust Kyle King talking about what he heard at that speech the other day? To trust you? Right. Or am I gonna trust somebody on social media? No, particularly if they're saying something that I didn't know or something that was new or something that made me feel silly or, you know, shameful or something like that. You know, I mean, it's like, you know, parenting. Think about conversation parenting. The worst parent ever after I read some of this stuff. About to write a book on it. But I suck. I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm overwhelmed with this. God, I'm just going to. Here's another thing. Shut down. That's it. I'm Chris Gazdik (36:14.294) I don't want to talk to my family about this. don't want to talk to my friends. You know how many times I've heard people to your point, Kyle, you need to be able to talk. People refuse to do that anymore because of the fear. It is. It's very big fear. I see it all the time. especially, you know, I see that why I see it in work and people just don't understand how to communicate unless it's via text. did we land? So where did we land? Neil, what do you remember about what we tried to figure through and give people some ideas about? And, you know, I kind of think we landed on some of the standard things, you know. Chris Gazdik (37:55.566) You're making me remember that we did have a specific challenge to do that, didn't we? I wonder how many people did that. The other thing, of course, limit. used to be, like you say, you know, the evening news was like on and then local and then the other evening news for the other half hour, you got snippets of what happened. And then, of course, you can go read your newspapers and articles and things and get more information if you wanted to. But it was like, and you're done. Chris Gazdik (38:42.126) Crazy that we feel so isolated but we have so much connection ability and you just said disconnect. Yeah, but I totally agree. As we've gotten more connected, we've gotten more disconnected. Isn't that crazy? How is that possible? But this is the way it's affecting community. This is the way it's affecting mental health. You know, I'm trying to think of some chapters that I had in my book, Chapter 27. We experience most what we focus on the most is a phrase that came up in a therapy experience. And that absolutely is, I think, absolutely true. You know, we experience most what we focus on. So if you sit there and focus on. something you're going to feel it. And we're focusing on things that make us fear fearful and distrustful and overwhelmed and anxious and angry is the result because we can't process all that. So we're just pissed off. And then in the marriage book, actually, we tend to hold onto grudges and resentments, but not facts. Think about it the way you feel when you talk to your spouse, when things get heated, you kind of lose the facts or you perceive. do. Chris Gazdik (39:47.508) memory that isn't necessarily what the other person experiences. And I will say this very clearly, both people in that experience have their perceptions and need to be respected and honored, even though they're different. And so we can get to a little bit of a logical process. Our horses and health records are clear, Neil. You need to listen. You need to talk. Yes. Especially the horses thing. That's fascinating. Closing thoughts, because we want to get on to the show that I was most excited about episode 334 is technology humanity's greatest emotional challenge and we had a conversation with Lisa Dana hey and she was awesome the three questions I guess I didn't say is there any closing thoughts guys sorry Yeah. Yeah, we do. We do. How has technology changed your emotional rhythm, your patience, attention, empathy? Secondly, are humans emotionally evolving fast enough to handle the speed of digital change? Kyle's already shaking his head. No, he says. Third, what does genuine human connection mean in a world mediated by screens and algorithms? And we've talked a little bit about it tonight, but. Kyle, know, Neil has heard me talk about this a little bit lately. I mean, I just I'm so fascinated to hear your professional read on this and all because this is your wheelhouse of technology and fraud. you know, this this this world that is your profession in the way people are coming at you, the way people are manipulating you, the way we're engaging and Chris Gazdik (41:31.886) Lisa was really cool to hear her thoughts. I'm going to really refer you to the show on that. not going to speak for her. She was way too intelligent for me to try to do that, She's brilliant. I was impressed with the way she went about this. is this, I'll just ask you, Kyle, is this the greatest challenge of humanity's ever had? I listen to it. Kyle King (41:53.038) I don't know about the greatest, it's definitely a big challenge because you think of... Let me struggle for a moment. What would you think would be greater? Potentially. You know? Yeah, probably due to the war, I'm guessing. Economic failures. mean, what really has challenged humanity? Disease. Wars, famine, disease. Let's flip the question. What would happen if you take away all the digital connection today? Chris Gazdik (42:28.618) Ooh, wow. Kyle King (42:32.398) And I'll tell you, and here's what I've learned in my short time. I worked for a construction company one time, and I was working in their IT department. We connected all the job sites, and the ISP cut a line. so the entire, none of the job sites could communicate, which means they couldn't access the main data repository. They couldn't do their calculations. And the young people, young, like planners, Lost. They could not do their job. The old timers, OGs, they pulled out their rollers, slide rolls, and kept on going. Just started working with pencil and paper. And you know, you think about, because I grew up doing a lot of math classes, we had to show our work back in the day. You remember that. I do. And now, we don't have to do that. Everything is done on calculator. So if you take away the digital connection, where would Where would society be? You know, I see your point. You're kind of going to the idea that we would be lost, we'd become dumber, it can be a of doing stuff. Possibly. You know what came to my mind loudly and strongly as I pondered that as an excellent question is we would be a lot calmer. Potentially. Yeah, and we would probably be a lot more educated Just because we are going to have to go back to the pencil and the paper We are going to have to do that. We are gonna be have to think how to do things Chris Gazdik (43:53.09) Mm-hmm. Kyle King (44:57.208) Yeah, see what- I will say this, in the field of psychology, we do know that things do change and things are different. mean, there was a great fears in similar fashion about TV and that changed the way that we operate and we adjust. know, we do fluctuate, Neil. So the Industrial Revolution brought on cars and mechanics and electricity and mass power and we adjusted. you know, brains will get good at what we focus on. I'll go back to chapter shuttle. We focus on we experience most what we focus on the most, right? Or something like that. And and the thing that really, really, really concerns me and why, Kyle, I feel like this is the greatest challenge humanity has ever asked is because the rapid changing pace of it. every couple weeks. Chris Gazdik (46:19.118) There might be some remaining normal humans. Chris Gazdik (46:29.87) Yeah, mean famines hit the whole world, world wars hit the whole world, but even then, I mean, the rapid pace of destruction for World War I was a slow crawl, know, humans really... We have to do your point. Chris Gazdik (47:09.118) I think you could speak to that really well just in fraud protection and you know computer based processing I mean to Neil's point there's just no limits to that around the earth is it I mean, look at it. I mean, everybody uses it these days. It's not like, you know, there's a little subset that never uses technology. Every single person touches it. And it does get a little bit more scary when you think of, you know, how people can be manipulated by the use of technology. The phishing campaigns, the AI attack, you know, that kind of stuff. The deep fakes. They're all... trying to gain something. It's amazing to, you think about a lot of these things are being auto-generated these days. So it's not like you have to be a specialized person to do some things now. When I was going through the, when I was coming up through technology, I had to learn it. I had to have my hands on the keyboard. I had to do that. You don't necessarily have to write code these days. You can have ChatGPT do it for you. Yeah. And now you can use that code and manipulate it in your form to go out and like do some type of attack. It's crazy to think about it. It's just like not a lot of people have to think when they're using technology these days. Not as much as what they used to. Chris Gazdik (48:37.006) You're gonna love this. think I'm gonna use it. I had to think maybe I think I could do it a safer way, but I I'm laughing because I just got an amazing example of that literally today. So I had like five minutes in my day and I was like, I had a day today. I was stressed out. It was a long, long day. So I got one of those chronic texts you get, know, hey, you have your house for sale. We'd love to give you this price or whatever. So I texted back. My wife left me. I'm so sad and she's living there. Yeah, want to sell it. I'll sell it for anything or something like that. I'm so mad. Oh, that's not true. You know, I got a call. Yeah. minutes later, somebody saying you, you agreed to a certain price set price point. We're here to talk to us. Give us a call. I'll call back. Kyle. They would have took me in an emotional state in a sad space, which I'm not, but you know, I mean, that's attack. Well, you know, let's think about the love aspect. Let's think about love aspect. Romance. Let's think about all these young kids that got isolated during COVID that no longer know how to have social conversations with the opposite sex. Right. Right. You know, these are the kinds of things I think about. But then when they do find somebody that can connect with them, then that's whether they're meeting... Chris Gazdik (49:32.768) romance. Kyle King (49:56.43) typically not meeting them in person, but they're getting a text or a phone call or some other type of communication. Yeah, zip, zip, zip. And now look at the opposite effect. It's like, I'm not fear, but I'm falling for this person or I'm willing to do stuff for this person. And yeah, two. Also a dopamine hit. Chris Gazdik (50:23.468) Love, lust, fear, anger. My big thing, like I said, is the rapid pace of all of this. I see, you know, one of the things I really wanted to build into that conversation is that our emotional bandwidth has increased. It hasn't, I said, has, didn't I? It has not increased. Our emotional bandwidth is the same for all these types of things that we're talking about. But the stimulus intensity has dramatically increased. only you've seen it that mismatch is at the root of the emotional dysregulation. of what we feel especially with powerful things like you just said Neil love lust hate you know what did you say anger anger you know And it exists in the palm of your hands. Every day. Now, all day. I mean, how do we cope with that? How do we, how do we slow ourselves down? Because if we slow down, we even have names for this stuff. I'm gonna be missing out. FOMO thing, right? I gotta keep up with the pace. Chris Gazdik (52:21.324) I was able to get Neil Star Wars Heroes is my game and I got this Emperor before I quit. So I'm so happy that I did. Chris Gazdik (52:32.334) I'm in the same exact boat, Lord Vader did not get got by me, but I am okay with it because I instantly don't have to worry about the daily reports. I don't have to worry about the attacks that my clan is relying on me for. I have good equipment, I have good things that I've built up, and I wonder if they're upset, but you know what? It's okay. Chris Gazdik (53:17.823) about Clash of Clans with my brother-in-law. He was playing for a little while. But he got intense with it. It was like, Lee man, really? Like, it's intense. You have to win. You have to boot faster. You have to get more. yeah? It is. Kyle King (53:49.838) I think we all do. We all just got to take a step away. You know, put the phone down, go do whatever. I mean, we used to make our daughter when she was a teenager, leave her phone downstairs. You don't need it in your bedroom. You don't need it. But I did the same thing. I'm on the computer all day. When I sit down, I want to just hang out. Hang out with my wife. Let's watch some TV. You know what I'm getting into now? Jigsaw puzzles, Yeah. Give me a couple. Chris Gazdik (54:22.602) I'm doing these thousand piece puzzles that are freaking difficult. I'll be a while before I get to. Chris Gazdik (54:30.958) Man, you know what I actually thought, Neil, I need to do one with just a 500 piece puzzle, you know, but let's get back into this because I think this is the greatest challenge for humanity has faced yet. And we see it even in this conversation, I would ask you to think about how you feel. You know, when you said, when you were talking, Kyle, you know, what would happen if we disconnected all digital outlets to ourselves? And I felt calmer. I mean when I go on a cruise, guess what? I don't have my phone attached to me. I do too, it stays in the safe and I go off about my business. I don't have to have it, I don't need it. Yes, meet a lot of people. Have fun. Yeah, yeah, we have fun. of that. Chris Gazdik (55:12.78) and you meet new people. Kyle King (55:21.801) Probably not, but... Chris Gazdik (56:01.078) physically necessary. Kyle King (56:17.632) Even when I'm just on a phone call, I cannot just sit at my... Kyle King (56:25.026) walk I got a path I walk as I talk but yeah that's I think I brought this up in the show. I want you to be aware, you listening to the show, I want you to be aware of the intricacies in the daily function that you engage with, that technology is now driving. I think I used the example of this dear friend in Chapel Hill that I had. She was so funny, she would drive on the road and she'd get frustrated with traffic. Not quite road rage, but getting there, right? Now in the South here in the United States, we call it gigging. You stick your middle finger up. Well, she would put her hands underneath the dashboard and she'd be like, boom, boom, boom, boom, you know, just, just getting her anger out at this guy who cut her off or whatever and stuff. Well, we do that now, but we do that. You know, we have a term for it, right? We call it like keyboard warriors. Right? You type out all these things that you want to say, you type out all these things that you want to do. But the problem is people don't miss your gestures. You literally. say this to somebody who committed a crime and that somebody's mother is looking and reading. So you said this guy is a complete jerk and a mean person and we should hang him. And you just said that to this poor mother who was grieving and weeping and terrified about the sanctity and security of her son. But you know, we get a lot more bolder behind the keyboard than we do in person. Horrible. And I've seen that a lot. People won't say that in person. Chris Gazdik (57:55.778) No, Chris Gazdik (58:35.618) coming for you. Kyle King (58:59.086) people hide behind one word on some of these things, anonymous. yep. Ghost, you know, there's a big statement that we made and talked about in this episode where our brains are literally biologically wired to connect. We have chemicals released in our brain, Neil, when I'm looking at your eyes and I see your face and your facial expressions, my body reacts with adrenaline dropping or oxytocin releasing. adrenaline gets me going up and charged because you've said something that activated my anger or you said something very kind and appreciative and I've developed hormone releases that connect me with you. But our tools are built nothing but for stimulation. So our brains are wired for connection and our tools are geared towards stimulation. And when you get chronically stimulated that way, you can't connect. Kyle King (01:00:06.647) Hmm. Chris Gazdik (01:00:14.79) That would be amazing. Chris Gazdik (01:00:35.914) But people would still, you know, just because they're the nasty behind keyboards, they would say things they wouldn't say. Chris Gazdik (01:00:51.916) statement Neil you're right one to five percent now we're 90 95 percent that way yeah that is the way the technology has changed our interactions and our connecting and we're not wired for it well like biologically we have had a millennia Chris Gazdik (01:01:12.845) ourselves to the way that we react and we have had 20 years to adjust to the way that we operate now and how quickly is it going to change moving forward. Yeah. Well. just dramatically. I don't even think we've seen anything yet as rapid as that's been in the causes that it has created to concern as just, you know, exponentially increased in dramatic. So, yeah, we're winding down and I didn't leave time for the little episode 3.30 seconds or whatever. We did a little bit. And this is too important. I mean, you know, this is too important. Well, I think we already touched on a little bit. Kyle King (01:01:53.614) In the digital age, it's just amazing. It's amazing what's out there. And it just, as we already talked about in the last episode, can fuel that fire for whatever reason or cause that you have or emotion. It just can fuel it. And think about this, I'm glad this popped back in my head because I didn't get to stay at our brains are wired for connection, but our tools are built for stimulation. You know, who gets paid? Who gets money and a lot of money? Influencers. The people that are the most stimulating, the people that have the brashest things to say, the people that activate your emotions the most. Now, they used to be an art form. We call it comedians or politicians, know, they would really get into our minds and our hearts and develop a relationship with the community. You know, we have a new AD over at WVU Sports, right? And I was so amazed that he is going to every county in our state to get to know the people, to get to know the culture, to get to know what the community is like, the richness of the, I mean, I'm a West Virginia guy, so I loved all that. And I was so happy to hear that because he's connecting. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry. Man, that was better than any teeth joke that I've heard. But think about who gets paid on these things and it's big money. People that can trigger the most stimulation and it disconnects. Chris Gazdik (01:03:33.121) I take. moment. Chris Gazdik (01:03:45.838) I don't think I do. Mr. Beast. those like stimulated podcasts and he listens to it. Chris Gazdik (01:04:38.156) And what's his content? he fear-mongering? Is he... Chris Gazdik (01:05:09.109) I have not. Chris Gazdik (01:05:46.51) Well, you know, maybe that's a good way to begin winding us down is I don't mean to convey that technology is bad by any means. I love technology. This is a fantastic time to live. I mean, we are seeing amazing things going on and I do have faith in humanity. I have faith in the goodness of what we want to do, the love that we have for one another. You know, it gets buried and lost right now because we don't know how to handle what's coming at us so fast. are really good people. We want to love each other and support each other and you feel good when you help somebody and that's not going away. That's not gonna die. We are way too geared towards connection emotionally and the younger generation I feel like we crash on them a lot, Kyle. They don't know how to talk to each other. They don't know how to date but you know what? They've been living this for a long time and people that are 25 and younger, they're throwing this stuff more to the side. They still very much get their news 100 % from all the social media, they're not, they're wanting to actually connect with people. They're wanting to actually like be in person. They're wanting to act, they don't want Snapchats and those were kids stuff they feel like. And so I think that we'll adjust. I think that maybe, and I'll prime you guys to think what, you where were the takeaways? free to look at the notes and prepare your brain, but like, what do you really want in your life? And the big question I would challenge you, the listener, in your car or in your home, like how can you slow yourself down? What ultimately can you do? Because the technology is great. It's the speed that it's coming at you that is the concern. So how can you slow yourself down so that you can begin to connect more with your children, your wife, your husband, your family, your neighbor? Be good neighbor. just ponder that question. You're gonna have to come up with another one. Maybe you go back, Kyle, to what would happen if digital disconnection happened. That is an excellent question. You hit me with that. My brain's gonna be on that for a little while. How can you slow down? What kind of thoughts, where did we land the two of you have, if any? Kyle King (01:08:00.366) Well, you know, I always go back and we, there's a common theme every time I come here is that we still have to maintain that connection with other people. We cannot go through this world by ourselves, no matter what it is. You know, back to even back to the politics, you know, have that healthy conversation, have that, have that open discussion. You know, we talk about technology is that connection, you're getting out of Put this thing down that's in the palm of your hands, get out from behind a desk, go out and talk to people. Whatever that looks like. You go out on a walk down the trail. Do that. 80 % of the stuff that we agree on, know? I know. But it's the loud 20 % of the scary stuff. Yeah Kyle King (01:08:49.005) But no, it continues to be a resonating thing. It's just we have to have that people connection to make it through. If we rely totally on technology or what we see or from the social media, we're not mentally capable of handling Being alone sucks, doesn't it? does. It sucks. You have summary thoughts, Neil? Chris Gazdik (01:10:19.586) Yeah, I love that. mean, writing the books that I wrote was just kind of amazing to think like I like legit did that. Like that still blows me away. Like I do not feel like an author. Like that doesn't feel like I like, you know, but boy, when you dig a pond or you I love that. Don't be just a consumer. We get back to being a producer. Slow down so that you can calm yourself. And Kyle was like, just connect. Don't be alone. Those are that is. That is good stuff, Sorry we didn't get to episode 336, but we were good on that one as well. Listen, we're going to have a year in review. We got a cool show. Tell your friends, come see us. I hope we're entertaining you a little bit, giving you some information about mental health and substance abuse. It's a really, really important topic these days. I believe that we need to be on top of our emotions and our mental health so that we can be and operate much healthier. All right? So take care, be well, we'll see you next week for the year of 2025 wrap up, I guess, Take care.