Have you ever thought about the way you look at the world? Why what you are going through affects you differently than other people? A lot of this has to do with your perspective at that the time of your life. Our panel talks about how your perspective is developed, and how it operates. They then look at the effects of a negative perspective and a how to develop a positive one.
Tune in to see What is Your Perspective Through a Therapist’s Eyes.
Listen for the following takeaways from the show:
- What is your Perspective?
- Do you know where or when it was developed?
- Do you have domain over your perspective and how to develop that dominion?
- What is the definition of perspective?
- You cannot change your reality. . So you have to learn how to adjust expectations in your perspective on how to approach your reality.
- Tabla Rosa Theory – We are born with an empty Slate
- Followed by John Locke in the 17th century, followed by Freud and Adler in the 18th century.
- Question asked to the panelist: Which is the most poignant in the development of perspective?
- How does Perspective Operate?
- You do not know how your experiences will effect how your perspective with change.
- What are the impacts of a negative or positive perspective?
- How do you develop a positive perpsective.
- Intentionality is a way to change your perspective.
- 6 Strategies for Gaining Perspective by Idealist.
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Episode #213 Transcription
Chris Gazdik: [00:00:00] Hello. We are Through a Therapist’s Eyes. We are recording this on January the fifth, 2023. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. 2023 has come around the corner. It’s kind of I don’t know. I, I usually get a little nostalgic and very thoughtful and meditative and evaluative through the new Year’s.
I haven’t done that at all this year. , I don’t know what that means. Well, we’re only five days in. Yeah, well, yeah, but it’s, I, I think I just didn’t have the, the time and whatnot. This year we were driving and I don’t know, this has been a weird year, so maybe that’ll carry through, through the whole year.
We’ll see. Amen. Yeah. So we’re gonna be talking about perspectives today. Perspective. I think that might be an interesting topic. [00:01:00] Miss what’s your name? Victoria actually kind of created this topic,
Victoria Pendergrass: didn’t you? Oh yeah, I did. You did? Yeah. Well, I took it from the expansive group, which is a, another therapeutic practice.
But yeah, they had posted something about
Chris Gazdik: you said it and I went with it. Yeah. Yeah, you said it and I went with it. John, I’ll grab it. Mr. Pope is with us. I’m glad to be here and Ms. Kasie. The Morgan. Hi. You notice how I did the Pope Morgan instead of Yeah, the Pope. I did the Morgan. Yeah. Did it work?
Kasie Morgan: It’s landing. It’s landing. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: All right. It’s landing. Welcome back. You feeling better? Doing better. Doing great. Everything’s good.
Kasie Morgan: Everything’s great. You have a good New Year’s. I had a great New Year’s. That’s cool. Yeah, it was wonderful.
Chris Gazdik: So perspectives, you know. We are dealing with these things in all sorts of areas of our life.
Think about decisions that you come to crossroads that you’re in. The new year is a good time to think of what [00:02:00] perspective you have and what perspective you want to have, how you’re developing, how you’re moving through challenges in life and pleasures in life and life’s transitions. There are a plethora of examples of this through the show.
Think about what is your perspective really, and then do you know really where, how your perspective was developed? It’s an interesting and dynamic question to really ponder and think about. And then do you have domain over your perspective, right? And, and if you feel empowered, how do you develop that dominion over your perspective?
Because I think a lot of people kind of feel like. We covered recently. I feel the way I feel and I can’t do anything about the way that I feel. That’s the way that I feel. Right. Well, it’s the same thing sort of with your perspective. And I think that you’ll land on probably a pretty big consensus of our panel, that you absolutely have dominion [00:03:00] over your perspective.
And, but boy, how do you do that is an interesting question to get into. So we’re gonna be all about perspectives today through a therapist size.com. Contact at through a therapist Eyes is a great way to get into us, get in with us, to talk to us. We what, what else do we do? We’ve got, I’m just gonna go into like, Hey, this is the human emotional experience and we endeavor to do what?
Figure this out together. Right.
Victoria Pendergrass: We also do not provide any therapy
Kasie Morgan: services, delivery therapy services in any kind. Hoorah.
Chris Gazdik: See, one of the things guys listening, like you’re forgetting one. Yeah. Listening audience. We ha we are like therapists paranoid at times about liabilities and that kind of stuff, so thank you.
Victoria. The, the, the, the, the lesson of CYA has, has stuck with you, hasn’t it? I don’t know what that means, but Yes sir. Cya a cover your ass. Absolutely.
John-Nelson Pope: Oh, I was gonna say arse. Oh,
Chris Gazdik: sorry. Arse ars. Is that a better way to put it? [00:04:00] Yes. You can’t say ass on a podcast. I’m down with ass. Can say what we need to now.
Neil’s like rolling his
Kasie Morgan: eyes and smirk. It’s like he’s got him. Block that out.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah.
John-Nelson Pope: Lot to go. I don’t think we have
Chris Gazdik: an FCC rated or explicit. We just moved into, but that’s okay. That’s okay. So let’s understand first of all, like, what, what really do we mean by perspective? I, I, I want to get your all’s take.
But listen to these sort of literal, I think, sort of funny definitions cuz we do start with definitions a lot. Mm-hmm. , because I think you, you need to know what you’re talking about if you’re gonna really kind of go into and delve into the topic. Right. So the art of drawing solid objects on a two-dimensional surface, so as to give the right impression of their height with depth and position in relationship to each other when viewed from a particular point that is the definition of perspective.
Mm-hmm. , right? Yeah. That’s a pretty scientific definition. I
John-Nelson Pope: went to an art [00:05:00] museum Yeah. This last week. Ringling Art Museum. And there was de development of perspective. Yeah. Okay. Okay. This is, and so you have this two dimensional is item, this painting. Yeah. And it looks three dimensional.
Chris Gazdik: It’s a different perspective.
A different perspective. There’s a phrase foreshadowing.
Kasie Morgan: I went to a Da Vinci immersion experience over New Year’s, and it was amazing to see. Oh, that sounds fascinating. To see the two dimensional art brought to life. Like even through mixed media. Mm-hmm. . So that was awesome. Oh, that,
Chris Gazdik: where was this at? In Asheville.
Oh, that sounds fascinating. It was amazing. The appearance of things relative to one another as determined by their distance from the viewer. That is another sort of literal definition of very literal of perspective. So when you all think about it, what do you, what do you really think about? I mean, that obviously that’s not what we’re talking about.
Mental health substance abuse podcast. So yes. What do you think about when
Kasie Morgan: you think perspective, like your take on things, right? Like, this is my [00:06:00] take on things, right? How you
Victoria Pendergrass: view something mm-hmm. or how you
John-Nelson Pope: interpret even affects your attitude. Mm-hmm. . And so thinking about, I mean, in other words, like you, you said the view on things.
So,
Chris Gazdik: so there we get into a little bit of the depthier, perspective development into our behavior. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. and our, our, our attitude and what you kind of, you went a little bit of a step further into like, what are the effects, right? Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Which is naturally what we do as Yeah. As
Kasie Morgan: clinicians.
Exactly. Yeah. I mean, and I think that perspective shifts, right? So based on your core beliefs, big time. Yeah. And I think core beliefs are just like putting on a pair of sunglasses and walking outside. So your perspective is filtered through your core belief. Well,
Victoria Pendergrass: also, what you experience in life is gonna mm-hmm.
It’s gonna change and affect how your perspective
John-Nelson Pope: is. I think your perspective changes too. Also if, if you’re [00:07:00] empowered and let’s say through therapy and the person, you start to challenge some of your negative thoughts and the way you looked at things before. Mm-hmm. And you can change your attitude and improve
Chris Gazdik: it, isn’t it?
A lot of what we do in our therapy office, fundamentally on a core level, looking at your perspective and really working to change that perspective. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Because oftentimes we get stuck in the perspective that we’re in. And to get unstuck can be really
Kasie Morgan: hard. Yes. Yeah. It’s the concept of reframing, right?
Yeah. So classic
Chris Gazdik: you don’t c Yeah. Cognitive behavioral therapy. Therapy. Therapy. Yeah. Because
Kasie Morgan: the truth is, is, oh, sorry John. I know that’s okay. But the truth is, is that for a lot of people, you cannot change your reality. . So you have to learn how to adjust expectations in your perspective on how to approach your reality.[00:08:00]
Chris Gazdik: So I love the way that they, one place put it that I was looking at this, your perspective is the way you see something. That’s what we’re talking about. So , it was a funny example, if you think that toys are corrupt mm-hmm. , and that they corrupt children’s minds, then from your perspective, a toy shop is actually an evil place.
Mm-hmm. . And, and here’s, here’s the thing that I, I think is interesting to ask from, from the perspective of the panel, if you will. This happens all the time for people, and a lot of times they come into a therapy experience for all sorts of reasons, right? Mm-hmm. , what happens when somebody is not really aware?
Of what their perspective is, or even like, what the definition is of a per a perspective. Do, do we operate still from those perspective? Because oftentimes, you know, they’re [00:09:00] even subconscious and we’ll talk about that in a little bit. Like, do, do we operate from this perspective of the definition that we’re going by?
Or do people operate from like a literal definition? We have concrete thinkers like, do we have to know the definition to be operational with this? Hmm. Or does our brain already know, given the culture that we’re in, like operational rules that we’re operating from, I mean, it’s, it’s a lot moving on there.
Does that make sense?
John-Nelson Pope: I, yeah. It sounds like you’ve, you’ve, it, it, it sounds to me like you’re really saying, are we predetermined to think a certain way or we, or do we learn this? , you’re we’re talking nature or nurture. That’s where we get to, yeah. Yeah. I’m maybe jumping a little fast, but
Kasie Morgan: Yeah, what I, I do think that there’s a lot of influences on that, right?
So I think that, like, just from my perspective, when people come in, if you’re under an [00:10:00] immense amount of acute stress, let’s say like when too many things happen too fast in a period of time, it may change your perspective in the immediacy, but not overall. So I think there is some fluidity to perspective based on circumstance, but I also believe that our perspectives can be sought out in a therapy situation by the using just simple, reflective practice.
So if you’re doing a supportive reflection with someone and kind of reflecting back to them, so what I hear you say is this, sometimes people have real aha moments that they didn’t know that they were operating from. This perspective at all, but when they hear it back mm-hmm. . And so when you say this, is this what you mean?
And they’re like, no, but that’s what I’m projecting out there, isn’t it? Yes. Yes. . .
Chris Gazdik: Do you say that in sessions a lot? What I hear you say is, yeah. You know what’s funny? I do not. I
Victoria Pendergrass: don’t. I don’t really do that either. You don’t either.
Chris Gazdik: No. Two do [00:11:00] two. Don’t. Don’t do that. Yeah. Cause we’re the best. We’re the best.
Okay, now.
John-Nelson Pope: Wow. I hear you
Kasie Morgan: say. Yeah. So what I’m hearing is, yeah.
Victoria Pendergrass: I mean, I might say, I might say it a different way. We
Chris Gazdik: say it in cooler ways maybe, but we
Victoria Pendergrass: do it the best. I mean, I don’t think I we’re close, I say as much of like, yeah. Of, wow. What I’m hearing you say is blah, blah, blah, blah. word it differently.
Kasie Morgan: Yeah. I also say that as the therapist because I don’t want my values and judgments to influence what the person is actually trying to say. Yeah, you’re checking out. Yeah. So when I do reflect on what I feel like they’re saying, it’s more so too for my own reflective practice to make sure I’m on the same wavelength with them as far as you know.
Did I miss the mark here in what you’re actually trying to arrive at? Yeah. I sometimes you do that. I just worry and sometimes I do. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. So let’s go into John, where you went to. Okay. Do a little history with this, actually a [00:12:00] little bit too. Right? Exactly. Part of what we want to understand, when you think of the question, you know, what is your perspective, you know, how is it developed?
Where does this come from? The question I thought we’d spend a little more time on we’re not, which is fine. We move. Do, do you know the definition of what your perspective is and are you thinking about that? The answer is oftentimes no. But we just dialoged a little bit about, you’re still in operational mm-hmm.
aspect of it. And it does, it’s a big influence in your behavior. It’s a big influence in, in, in your, your belief system. It’s a big influencer in your moral code. It’s a big influencer in really in your direction to most relationships and, and process in life. I mean, it’s pretty broad. This is a, this is a fundamental part of you and who, who you are.
So how was it developed? Well, we go all the way back to the Tableau Rosa theory. You remember all that from school? No, no, no. Blank slate. No, you did two [00:13:00] nos, three noses. Three noses on. Oh my goodness. What
John-Nelson Pope: the heck? This is philosophy. We 1 0 1, are we
Chris Gazdik: talking about Tablo Rosa? Is it
Victoria Pendergrass: Okay, now I started with my way through philosophy.
Okay. Okay. Well,
Chris Gazdik: it’s, oh, I’m sorry. What’s. It’s also just psychological in nature and stuff. And so I
Kasie Morgan: took the philosophy of film. I just wanna throw that out
Chris Gazdik: there as my philosophy. Okay. Well you would have a couple, Ross Random. This crew did. Neil, did you just give these whole people caffeine today? Oh, I’m jacked all Jack.
I was drinking caffeine
Victoria Pendergrass: right
Chris Gazdik: now.
John-Nelson Pope: Okay. I’ve started drinking energy drinks
sorry for a non-sequitur .
Chris Gazdik: That’s We’re on fire center Focused. Center focused center. Fire Tablo. Seriously, Kasie and Victoria is the theory that you’re born basically as a full on empty slate is basically totally disproven now, but it’s where we started a lot of belief systems [00:14:00] about, you know, how. Human beings are in our thought and in our process, in our perspective.
And interestingly enough, I didn’t know this, John, but it goes all the way back in thinking and philosophy. Aris Aristotle, yes. The academic knows this. Or did you cheat? No, I knew that. You knew that I, yes. I didn’t know. That goes back so far. Yeah, it’s
John-Nelson Pope: 2 2300 years.
Chris Gazdik: This goes back, listen, long time. The psychology field is only a hundred, 200 years old and whatnot.
Really, per se.
John-Nelson Pope: Y really psychology’s been around a long time. It’s just that it was more in terms of Phil Philosophy,
Chris Gazdik: philosophy, philosophy. And here we are with where the differences. Right. Yeah. Aristotle and the philosophers were thinking about least did we know full on psychology. But let, let’s move on.
Cuz cuz they, they got it wrong. They were, they were not. Correct. But at the time they didn’t have much [00:15:00] science. So,
Kasie Morgan: so what’s interesting is, you know, when I went to graduate school, maybe that’s why we didn’t hear of that theory is because when Victoria and I went to graduate school and went through Yes.
Dad. Yeah. Like, they’d already disproven a lot of that. So maybe they didn’t even like bring it up. I mean, it was, that’s interesting. I, it
Chris Gazdik: was 2010 when I went. Okay. So maybe the early nineties and stuff. We were still thinking with some validity on this early. Not probably. Yeah.
John-Nelson Pope: Well, even when I went through school it was, it was, there’s some questions about it.
Mm-hmm. , I mean it’s, that was presented as a theory of the mind. Yeah, same. Yeah. Yeah. So same. But there were people, but they also discussed other other, other theories. and was in my time. Mm-hmm. , they were actually starting to do the, the understanding of the mechanisms of the brain and it’s wiring and it’s what is inculcated, what is [00:16:00] already there in the brain, right.
And in the mind that we come to. And so there was the nature versus nurture. Mm-hmm. ,
Chris Gazdik: well, that’s where we move. Yeah, so, so we started out with Tableau Rosa, and then we got to more modern stuff with John Locke and I didn’t know that he went all the way back to the 17th century. He’s a well known person sort of in our developing fields of study.
You know, where he was looking at the sensory experience from your birth and onwards,
John-Nelson Pope: he would be a natural philosopher. Mm-hmm. a natural scientist. And so he and okay. That philosophy,
Chris Gazdik: that’s why I love doing the show. Cause I’m learning pieces as you’re adding to it. . That’s, that’s neat. Yeah, it, it’s neat to me to think about what do we know
John-Nelson Pope: about, he even had a political theory per
Chris Gazdik: Yeah, he did.
Well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a lot of that. He was known for that too. But listen, again, why do we care? Cuz we wanna know about our perspective and the development and what it is. So, cuz it’s so driving in your life. Right. So around the turn of the century or [00:17:00] whatnot, 19th century, we’ve talked about Freud and our buddy Alfred Adler, or his buddy Alfred Adler.
Recently with that Adlarian psychology, they began to really recognize family dynamics. So you see how our shifting belief about perspective, the perspective that you have and walk around with has shifted from blank slate at birth. No, you have your sensory experiences. Well, we didn’t know what sensory experience babies have in the womb, cuz they do.
Now we know. Then we went to family dynamics where Freud really dug into there as being what is formed and learned and keywords socialized. Okay, well, you know, we can get into the weeds with this, but suffice it to say that today we know a whole lot more about all that develops prenatally and singing to your baby and experiences that babies have and even sometimes.
Memory that’s in the womb. I don’t know if I buy that, but some have studied in purport that you have those types of things. And [00:18:00] then we also know, I’m skeptical. I’m very skeptical about that. Yeah. But then we also know a lot about genetic realities that are a big part of mental health conditions and whatnot.
So for instance, in the field of alcohol addictions and whatnot, there is a huge reality of, you know, how people are born addicted or not. I’ve had many conversations about that. Mm-hmm. tip to the side. I think that, that people are, but this is, this is really question for the panel. Do we understand this yet?
Victoria Pendergrass: perspective or what? Like the
Chris Gazdik: stuff you’re talking about. Do we understand what formula? Our perspective? Well,
Kasie Morgan: I hope not fully, because I feel like that would be boring if we did. Right. I like the evolution of theory around Right. How things continually evolve and influence. Cuz if you think about it our perspective has shifted even from the time, like I was talking to a child the other day about how, you know[00:19:00] there wasn’t text message when I was dating, you know?
So like, even in, in my life, there’s been a shift in perspective on communication and the way you ascertain information and the way you mm-hmm. Have discourse with a person. Because when I started out, like my adolescence, we didn’t have the internet, we didn’t have computers, we didn’t have cell phones dynamically different.
So like, it’s drastically changed over time. And so I think we have to consistently study this information because if we just rested that we know all there is to know about our perspective, then we’re not evolving with the times.
John-Nelson Pope: There’s also the worldview that people live in. , and I’m wondering in the time that we’re living in, and so our perspectives are, are changing, there are people of my parents’ generation, and both my parents are still alive.
That’s amazing. But they’re World War ii, mm-hmm. people. And so their perspective is different than what we were when I was growing up. And certainly [00:20:00] you were talking about, well, how did we communicate? I had a long distance relationship with my wife, and it was snail mail. And then we also had to be a aware that when we, we had phone calls, it was gonna cost a hell of a lot of money.
Oh, yeah. You know? Mm-hmm. . And so we had to have that intense burst in terms of the, that time we couldn’t just listen to each other talk or breathe over the. Yeah, it
Kasie Morgan: was a lot of my boyfriends were long distance in high school and my dad gave me 10 minutes a day. . Yeah. To
Chris Gazdik: talk to them. There you go.
Victoria, can I give you guys, and you guys follow up an impossible question. You ready for an impossible question? Sure. Or why not try to lead us off with the answer to this impossible question. Okay. So a lot of pressure. We now know that we’re not a blank slate at birth. We know that our sensory experiences, even in the prenatal womb, mm-hmm.
drive our perspective. We know of course, that the family of origin, we [00:21:00] learn a lot. There’s all kinds of social learning creates and drives your perspective. We know also that biological and genetic realities give us a predestined tendency. Not pre, absolute determined, but predestined tendencies with your perspective and mental health.
I
John-Nelson Pope: like that nuanced difference. You like that difference? That’s a. Philosophical difference. Mm-hmm. in an important one.
Chris Gazdik: In an important one. So your impossible question, Victoria is Yes. And I’m looking to actually see if you, we can all come up with an answer. Uhhuh. . Sure. Right. Which one’s most poignant in a development of a person’s perspective?
Ah,
Victoria Pendergrass: the bi biological origine. Which one? Between what?
Chris Gazdik: Sensory, oh,
Victoria Pendergrass: that Family of
Chris Gazdik: origin. Biological genetical. Well, actually we can add John Worldview. Yeah, you’re right. I did not have that in my thinking, but worldview is a, is a fourth, but
Victoria Pendergrass: like, if I had to pick [00:22:00] one.
Chris Gazdik: Yep. You have to. I don’t know. All right. We’re gonna pause on you and go to you two. Yeah.
Kasie Morgan: So for me, I would say that I firmly believe that it probably is more. Probably more family of origin or who you are raised with. I think all of them are important and play a part, but I also think that at a certain age of accountability, like your own perspective takes over.
So I know like for myself, like surrender and obedience in terms of my relationship with my religion is a really important and the most poignant part of my perspective. Yeah. Like that the experiences that I’ve been through even the last year, which some of you know about like that perspective, like the, like attitude, the thoughts and beliefs I have around that are deeply rooted in that obedience and surrender.
Chris Gazdik: Gotcha. Okay. So that would also be your
John-Nelson Pope: worldview. Yeah. Yes. Sure. So, I mean, in other [00:23:00] words, so you have a Judeo
Chris Gazdik: Christian Yes. Worldview. Yeah. So worldview, well, okay, let me pin you down, and they’ll go to John. Family of origin or as John points out worldview. So I think though, like, which is culture
Kasie Morgan: and religion, I think, but I think, but I think you have to think about it from a worldview perspective that I was born in America to Christian parents.
So Yeah. Is that also priming me to have this? Sure. The same worldview, like had I been born to Buddhist parents in China, I might still arrive at this place. Yeah. But I could have had different influences over my perspective up until that point. So, so you have domain, you have domain in that regard, but I think at some point when you think about surrender and obedience, like you are willing to relinquish some of that domain to be able to kind of prescribed to what you feel like should be the perspective that you strive for on a regular basis.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. John, what’d. .
John-Nelson Pope: Well, I would say that it’s a family of origin. Mm-hmm. , but I, and I’m thinking in terms of [00:24:00] adoptive parents and, and children mm-hmm. that they take on the values.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. Genetic realities are very different, but the family you’re raised in, adopted,
John-Nelson Pope: that doesn’t mean that then let’s say anxiety, which is, there’s a lot of empirical evidence that it Absolutely, there’s a genetic component to this that is heritable, but at the same time, you go in that me, that, that soup mm-hmm.
so to speak, with the family. You’ve got, you’ve got that support system that may navigate that anxiety differently or, or that, that would be different for that person who has a tendency for anxiety.
Chris Gazdik: Did they help you out, Victoria?
Victoria Pendergrass: Yeah. Excuse me. Yeah, I think I probably would have to agree. with the family of origin experiences instead of the other.
I mean, I think they all have a factor, obviously, but if we, if I had to pick one, [00:25:00] I think my perspective on life would be very different. Had I been raised in a, like in a different community, in a different type of neighborhood and
Chris Gazdik: mm-hmm. , I did not expect that. That we might all agree that you would, you all the three of you would agree with family of origin, because my answer is straight up, I don’t know.
I’m gonna be unfair. , I don’t know,
Victoria Pendergrass: cannot do that. You checked her up, you cannot do that. Is that wrong? You
Chris Gazdik: set her up. Is that. Because it is, I, I guess the reason why I would say it at this point, that way, I, I probably, I don’t think I, I don’t know that I really gave myself the exercise when I was preparing the show to, to really answer that question.
I, I, I really didn’t. So I would probably fall into the same loop of what you guys are, are saying, , because we are social creatures and, and, and the worldview. Mm-hmm. , as you point out, John and the family [00:26:00] immediate during those fundamental growing years are, are really prominent in the way that we develop our perspective, which is important because, what is the phrase, right?
It occurs to me too, we are our product of our five closest relationships. Look, we’re creatures of social domain, and that has a major influence to your subconscious as well as your conscious thinking.
Kasie Morgan: But I also believe that your biology is impacted by what happens to you. Yes.
Chris Gazdik: You stole my thunder. Oh, sorry.
Because I, I’ve said this a thousand times, an overview of mental health. I call it the Tale of Tale Two Tale Two tapes. That’s right. Thank you. You’re welcome. On the one Side, biological Realities on the other side, social and emotional realities, and they dynamically blend together to create what it is that somebody’s experiencing, thus formulating your perspective.
and I don’t, you just can’t separate those things out. Mm-hmm. . Well,
John-Nelson Pope: so this gets into the predestined [00:27:00] the, the predestined aspect of this. Yes. Because you have both the biological and then you have the family, let’s say the social, yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. , well, they influence each other. There’s that interaction and so you may have a destiny for a certain way, but it’s not written necessarily in stone it at all determined at
Chris Gazdik: all.
This is very fluid throughout
John-Nelson Pope: your life. You can, and you can change the course and you can choose your
Chris Gazdik: own way. Love it. Okay. It’s super important for you listening audience to understand because at the time of airing when this show is published, you might already have dropped your New Year’s resolutions.
That and I, and, and if you have, there’s so much guilt. That comes from that. There’s so much shame and, and disappointment and anger with ourselves that come with that. And we’re gonna talk about negative and positive [00:28:00] perspectives in the second half of the show. And we’re gonna talk about how to drive and take dominion over your perspective.
Hmm. Because boy, this is a debilitating reality. And right now, again, as this show publishes, people might be really struggling with this failure as it’s determined in your perspective. And John, I couldn’t agree more. Like we need to know that we are empowered to manage these things, which
Victoria Pendergrass: is why I don’t believe in resolutions anyways.
Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: A lot of people say that, but they still do them. You know, we still, mm-hmm. , we still gain perspective. Even if you don’t call it a resolution, I’m going to do better this year with this or that. I know somebody that’s using standing in their office more now. That’s what they wanna do for healthiness.
Yeah. And that started in the new year, so I know, I know another person’s gonna be walking more. and I know another, A lot of times it’s around weight and exercise and healthy. Right.
John-Nelson Pope: Do you have thought, John? No, I was just, I was thinking that my my smartwatch reminds me every hour that I need to get up and get [00:29:00] moving.
Yeah. . Yeah. Yeah. I resolved to do better. Yeah.
Chris Gazdik: There you go. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Well, at this point, let’s take a little bit of a break here at the midpoint for our show, and then I wanna do a quick current event, and then we’re gonna get into how do you manage your, and develop your perspective. Mm-hmm.
So we have a sponsor for the show. Better help. Better help.com. Kasie, have you ever heard of this before?
I
Kasie Morgan: have. I actually am a big proponent of better help because you can access therapy from anywhere that you are, no matter if you’re in-state, out of state. Wherever you are, you can access your therapist.
It’s
Chris Gazdik: an awesome dynamic. Yeah.
John-Nelson Pope: And you know, all better help therapists have advanced degrees in at least three years and a thousand hours of experience. Is
that
Chris Gazdik: a fact? That is a fact. He looked it up. That’s impressive. I did not know that, honestly. Yeah. Well, yeah,
Victoria Pendergrass: go ahead Al. And you can contact your therapist like whenever, whenever you want to.
You don’t have to wait until. specific [00:30:00] time.
Chris Gazdik: So it’s a really cool service. We have it as a sponsor for the show, and the way that you do that is you go to through a therapist eyes.com, click on the counseling tab, and they do a little quick survey to hook you up with a therapist of your choosing. So mm-hmm.
there’s a matching process and they have licensed clinicians all throughout the states. So it’s a great place to kind of locate really, probably around the world. It’s an interesting thing. I don’t know if it’s a worldwide program or not. I suspect it is,
John-Nelson Pope: but I mean, you can contact your therapist via text.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s a, it’s a cool service. So go to through a therapist eyes.com, click the counseling button, and that’ll take you through to that process, and you can get your very own personal therapist. So let’s get back to the show. All right,
so how do we go with. This in operation. I, we talked a lot about this and it’s funny, I didn’t realize that when we did episode 1 [00:31:00] 73 and 1 74 that I would reference as, as, as much as I do. Neil, have you noticed that that comes up like all the time? He’s shaking his head and smiling because, gosh, we have got to do that with this panel that occurred to me, implicit bias is the name of this show, and it was dynamic because this is what I was referring to.
You know, in operation in your life, the perspective that you have, the proverbial glass is half empty and glass is half full. I’m sure everybody’s heard that, but it’s such a cool crystallization of the way that we use our perspective to make real life direction and decisions. Yeah. You know, and I, I don’t know that we.
are very aware of all of the subconscious realities, all of the things that go into driving [00:32:00] this sway that we see, and the attitude that we then have glass half full. I’m happy, so to speak. Right. Or the glass half empty, oh my gosh, my, I just don’t have enough. It’s a dynamic difference, but how at play all the time.
But
Kasie Morgan: how cool would it be if you were able to actually arrive at the fact that it’s something to drink, switch it. Switch it instead of full or empty, that it’s just something to drink. Yes, and to take the power away from the implications of being full or empty.
Chris Gazdik: Listen to these phrases. That’s zen.
John-Nelson Pope: That blew my mind.
Chris Gazdik: get a different perspective. What is my perspective on this? Well, I see it differently. Ooh, you got a good perspective. Oh, Victoria, I really admire your perspective. Kasie. We just have a different perspective. We do. John, how about if we keep things in perspective? Thank you. Right. Christ, we use this word a lot as part of the point when [00:33:00] I thought of those phrases and how embedded it gets into our lives and the way this is in real operation, again, like all the times, I’m excited for you to stick to us to learn about how do we manage these things.
And so I loved this quote when I found it the right perspective makes the impossible possible. And then there’s a picture and you’ve seen these kind of pictures where a guy’s standing there and you know he’s holding the sun, right? And so that quote together with that picture to me was like, yes, this is what we wanna do.
Right? The right perspective makes the impossible possible. I thought, I just thought that was so, so cool. It’s empowering and uplifting. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . , I lied and forgot to do our current event, so this is good.
Victoria Pendergrass: I was gonna say something, but then I was not quite sure. I appreciate it, . I I, I realized that this, I didn’t wanna step on
Chris Gazdik: any toes
And it’s a, and it’s a good pause point to, to get into that. So the current event that I really felt [00:34:00] that we need to, to acknowledge was here in the states, around the world, we have NFL football, different than soccer and around the world they call it American football. And we had a terrible injury. Yeah.
And I was getting some new information in real time that I didn’t know, and it’s very exciting to me. Yeah. And I, what’s his name?
Kasie Morgan: Lamar? It’s DeMar Hamlin. DeMar Lamar Hamlin. And he’s number three on the Buffalo Bills, bills, Buffalo Bills squad. And so for those who don’t know, He took a hit and after the hit suffered what they believed to be like a cardiac arrest event.
They don’t know where it stemmed from. There were different perspectives on that. There’s perspectives, yeah. But they administered CPR and a, a d support for approximately nine minutes before he was transported off the field. Was in critical condition. But as of last night,
Chris Gazdik: hold on. Yeah, because the experience of, of this, I heard you talking about Kasie and.
I hadn’t planned but decided when I [00:35:00] heard you talking, because this is a hugely, this has been hugely an emotional experience. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. for all of us because this is, this has happened before that I saw videos on a hockey player who had a puck hit him in the chest. And I know doctors that I’ve talked to have taught me that you can have immediate cardiac arrest and car accident.
It
John-Nelson Pope: caused a dysrhythmia Yeah. Of the, of the heart. It’s in between exact, the exact time. Mm-hmm. right in between beats of the heart. So is that what creates a and that’s what causes it. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And so it stops the heart. That’s what
Victoria Pendergrass: they were saying about the hit that he got hit just at the right or po This is what they were speculating that he got hit.
Yeah. At just the right time. That just the right spot hit. Yeah, just the right spot. Between
Chris Gazdik: heartbeats.
John-Nelson Pope: Yeah. And I think tendency is for, for objects of a certain size, maybe a size of a baseball or
Chris Gazdik: lacrosse. Mm-hmm. , lacrosse, my son got hit with it and it hurts.
John-Nelson Pope: Yeah. Yeah. And it
Chris Gazdik: causes
Victoria Pendergrass: jar. Well, and I think the thing is, is this [00:36:00] happened live that’s on, on tv.
What was, what was
Chris Gazdik: the emotional experience and the emotional experience of literally millions at the same time around the world. That’s what’s unprecedented about it. We are social creatures. Mm-hmm. . And we developed John, your view, the worldview. And this was live, and my son and I were watching it like you, Kasie.
Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And stuck to it. I found myself almost similar to nine 11, where we have these outlets in these news meetings that we can stay stuck on this thing. And I remember literally saying to my son, Like, we gotta turn this off. You’re like, cut the feed. Yeah. We, we, and we didn’t, we didn’t know if we could or wanted to or should to have some different words.
Mm-hmm. with the perspective. Yeah. And finally we did, it was about 1130 this occurred, what, at like nine 30 or so? We’re about two hours [00:37:00] in, you know, in, in inducted into this. Like, I felt horrible about,
Victoria Pendergrass: no, I stayed, I laid in bed up for a long time, just refreshing my Twitter feed. Mm-hmm. like every few minutes, every few, couple seconds just to see if they had released any kind of information or anything that happened.
And yeah,
John-Nelson Pope: it’s very similar to the, the sudden deaths of jfk. Mm-hmm. Robert Kennedy. Bobby D. Kennedy. Yes. Martin Luther King. Princess Diana. Yes. And not so much Mother Teresa, because she was much older and and she was at the end of her life. Or Pope John was natural or natural or, or the Pope Benedict
Victoria Pendergrass: who just, whereas DeMar was, is 24 years old.
Chris Gazdik: 24
John-Nelson Pope: years old. Like, that’s shocking, vibrant,
Chris Gazdik: jarring. Right. And so it’s very shocking. So I literally heard some news that the, the ladies here were talking about. That’s exciting to me. And I don’t know these things. And so What were you saying, Kasie? [00:38:00] Yeah, so
Kasie Morgan: as of last night there was like the gripping of hands and he was able to write a message that asked, and this is what I think is so cool that we’re doing the show about perspective, because he asked the doctor through written word who won the game.
Oh, wow. And so the doctor changed the narrative and perspective and said, you won, you won the game of
Chris Gazdik: life
life. Wow. Yeah.
John-Nelson Pope: I love
Chris Gazdik: that. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Boy. I mean,
Kasie Morgan: just marinate, marinating that for a second. Well, and
Victoria Pendergrass: then Uhhuh. . Well, I mean, and then if we’re talking about perspective, you, we gotta touch on the fact of all the players who were on the field because they, they did a good job of sh shielding the cam.
So the cameras couldn’t really see anything like Yeah. From the TV perspective. But the, all the players who literally, I mean CPR is traumatic to watch someone go through cpr. Mm-hmm. is very, it.
Chris Gazdik: Absolutely. Oh, you can eyeopening break
Victoria Pendergrass: your ribs. Yeah. You can break ribs, sternum, all that stuff. And so I think, you [00:39:00] know, I mean hopefully the, I’m not sure cuz I don’t have the information, but hopefully the N NFL or whoever were able to provide some type of grief debriefing or something for those players who had to witness.
Yeah. You know, that happened on field in real time. And then I,
Kasie Morgan: I love that you brought that up because I think that we often neglect that, that lost perspective sometimes, like when we think about people going through various incidents. Right. So even going back to what we were talking about earlier about like family of origin and things like that.
So even if something did not directly happen to me mm-hmm. Yeah. But I was witnessed to it. Mm-hmm. , it can change and alter my perspective on my worldview, on the view of my parents, on the view of myself, on the view of other people, on my view of relationships. And I think I often interface with people who did not realize that things that they had experienced in their life, what they were bore witness to, directly [00:40:00] impacted their ability to navigate their own perspective.
Perspective.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. I literally saw an ESPN. or analyst mm-hmm. prey. Oh, yeah. Openly on mm-hmm. the air, not knowing if it was appropriate or whatnot, and just chose to do that. Mm-hmm. , the perspective of religion has been elevated tremendously by this event, and as you say, Victoria, you’re right. The, the mental health and the traumatic aspects of this.
We know that first responders struggle, everyone’s heard that with trauma down to the phone operators. Mm-hmm. .
Victoria Pendergrass: Yeah. I mean, that’s why in my assessments, usually when I get to the like, victimization, abuse, trauma section, I usually ask, have you witnessed any traumatic, not happen to you, but have you witnessed anything?
Because sometimes, like Kasie’s saying, it can provide, it can change your [00:41:00] perspective, your outlook on things sometimes without. Without you even realizing it.
Kasie Morgan: Yeah.
John-Nelson Pope: Sorry, go ahead. No I had a, a, a client whose whose father had had seen people falling out of the Twin Towers. Mm-hmm. on nine 11. Mm-hmm.
And he witnessed it and he witnessed the cloud coming at the collapse as well. He was traumatized from that. Mm-hmm. , even though he was physically
Chris Gazdik: safe. Have we all gone through a level of traumatic experience with Lamar’s injury and DeMar subsequent? Mm-hmm. , DeMars sake. Thank you. My brain just got a lot of things going through it with, with his subsequent death.
Mm-hmm. on the football field and revival.
Victoria Pendergrass: I think so I kept checking in with my husband, like, are you okay? Like, I kept asking him if he, I was worried about my kids. Yeah. Like, I mean, cuz I, I was actually in the kitchen when it happened, so I, I only saw the direct aftermath of it. . But my husband watched it and I like, throughout [00:42:00] the night I kept saying like, babe, are you like, are you feeling okay?
Do you wanna talk about what happened? Like, okay. You know, because it’s, he, yeah. Live on tv. I
Chris Gazdik: mean,
John-Nelson Pope: we’re about through therapist eyes. We as therapists, we’re traumatized by the trauma of some of the things that happened to our clients. Mm. Right. And we have to process
Chris Gazdik: that. You call it compassion fatigue nowadays.
John-Nelson Pope: Yeah. . Yeah. But there’s even in the military, there was a, a, a ptsd D mm-hmm. aspect of that. So it’s secondary PTSD or trauma, right? Yes. It’s vicarious trauma. Vicarious trauma.
Chris Gazdik: No, I totally agree. It’s highly impactful. And you know, I I, I, I was really thoughtful over the last couple of days with this current event, and I’m glad y’all were talking about it.
We incorporate it into this show really beautifully because I heard so many players begin talking now that the bills have come out and the Bengals as well, you know, [00:43:00] with, with this event, they’re kind of saying, you know, look, we’re human and we don’t know what to do with this. Right. And they didn’t say it, but we need guidance with that.
And guys, that’s our job. , like what an honor it is that, as clinicians, we do know a little bit about trauma. Mm-hmm. , we do know a little bit about what to do and what to avoid and how to manage this kind of stuff. And I’m so grateful that the NFL Players Association did send counseling people. Mm-hmm.
Victoria Pendergrass: therapy people. They did Okay. I wasn’t, I wasn’t sure if they did or not.
Chris Gazdik: They’re active with this. Like it’s, that’s goods continuing to elevate and prove the idea that around the world we are learning how important the mental health aspects of this stuff are.
Kasie Morgan: Yeah. And what I love not to be super analogous about everything, but what I loved about taking the perspective on that is that like, you know, the, the bengals head coach, he was talking about how like he doesn’t even wanna [00:44:00] comment on whether or not there will be a follow up game or not a follow up game.
Like the only thing to concentrate on right now is, is DeMar and his health and no, he is opened his
Chris Gazdik: eyes. I’m so happy
Kasie Morgan: about this. Yeah. And so I think that, That perspective of this is bigger than the game. Mm-hmm. is really analogous to what we do for people in our chair. Right? Like, so when you come to therapy or when you are getting reflection on your experiences and your perspective, knowing that your perspective can shift and change and change your life, like this is bigger than yourself.
You get outside of the fact that this is more than just a game. Like you have the ability to transcend what is currently going on in your life to be able to regain control over faculties. You feel like you’ve lost throughout those experiences.
Chris Gazdik: I was beaming over
John-Nelson Pope: there. I was Well, I was just thinking that, that, that what you’re saying is that, We as therapists also have the, the great [00:45:00] gift that we receive, and that is we’re changed by our,
Chris Gazdik: our clients.
Mm-hmm. . Oh, that’s definitely a, through a therapist eyes, they’re Yeah. Go further with that, because that’s true. I think people would be curious about what you mean. I
John-Nelson Pope: think it, it, it enables us, in other words, our, our clients are training us to be better therapists Absolutely. For our next client. Yeah. And better people and more compassionate, empathetic.
And so what you’re seeing with DeMar I think was his, his ability. Hi. His, what happened to him? He made us, in a sense, better people, humans. Humans, better humans, because it wasn’t, wasn’t blood and claw.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah.
Victoria Pendergrass: Who’s, well, I mean, I think that’s why, you know, I’m only four years into this and I’m not the same therapist that I was.
Kasie Morgan: That’s, you had a really good supervisor. I
Victoria Pendergrass: did. Cough. Cough, [00:46:00] Kasie . . But I mean, I think that’s, cuz we are always evolving through, you know what we. experience alongside our
Chris Gazdik: clients. And you know, it’s, again, it’s another reason why I say the human emotional experience, and we endeavor to figure this out together.
John, you’re right. Like when you enter into a clinical relationship, there is a perspective of the client and there’s also the perspective of the therapist and part of the art that mixes with the science of what we do is an interactive, explorative kind of process. Mm-hmm. like none other than you can have, you know, in, in life I would submit to you.
Mm-hmm. . It’s, it’s different. You, it can’t be really replicated. It can be similar with a pastor, you know it can be similar with a, a doctor who’s dealing with medical kind of issues and stuff, but it’s, it’s a different than than your buddy, your friends, your, your family. It’s, it’s a, it’s, it’s a powerful interaction.
John-Nelson Pope: Let me ask you this. How old was the doctor that [00:47:00] said that to DeMar. ,
Kasie Morgan: I’m not sure of his age. He looked relatively like, I would say like mid to late fifties. Okay.
John-Nelson Pope: He’s lived a long life. He actually learned from his patience. Yes. And he was able to say, you know, you won. You won. Yeah. And so his perspective gave a new perspective to
Kasie Morgan: DeMar.
Yeah. And I also love the fact that he didn’t say like, we were able to save your life. You know, like, I, even though those factors are also true, like, I liked that he gave ownership and empowerment of that experience back to DeMar to say, you have won the game of life. Like, congratulations. Mm-hmm. , you know,
Chris Gazdik: It’s, it’s really an interesting case study in perspective here, isn’t it?
You know? It is in real time. Let’s, let’s bring it back to this a little bit. With this case study being in place. I mean, you know, . Think about the questions we started out with, you know, what is your perspective on, you know, de Mar’s injury and [00:48:00] the whole powerful events that we just talked about. What, do you know where this was developed that you, the perspective that you have?
Do you know when it was developed? Is it still developing as we are having this conversation , right? Do you, do you have domain, can you change your perspective? Can you manage your perspective about this? I mean, what a case study in this right now? Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know, in a broad sense, it’s still a little segment on what are the real impacts of a negative perspective in a positive perspective.
So, if you think about it super quick here, the, the negative self-talk that comes with a negative perspective is powerful. The criticism that you get, the guilt and the shame you develop behaviors with a negative perspective, with gossiping and having, being jealous and having aggression and irritability, impatience Sorry.
Oh, I literally saw she come, impatience. She come hoed me, . I’m sorry.
Kasie Morgan: I literally just came. [00:49:00] Timing is
Chris Gazdik: everything. I’m, did I do something Victoria this week? I’m, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Continue. Please continue. But you develop projection towards others. You get attention seeking behavior, promiscuity, you know, there, there’s so much that can come from having a negative perspective.
Mm-hmm. , right? And then you turn it around to a positive perspective. You know, it contributes to, you know, all the good things that. We want emotionally is what occurred to me. Your, your confidence, being able to love other people, helping other people, liking yourself, really being comfortable in your, your own skin, feeling confident and comfort and strength.
Kasie, I love the, I always think of you now when you talk about resiliency. I mean the, these are, you know, positive things that come from a positive perspective, per se. Yeah. And in general, it really just has, as I said before, you know, a main goal in developing your future, your direction, [00:50:00] your ability to help other people versus your ability to harm other people.
That’s important part of a negative perspective, if that’s what you’re in. Physical health sucks with a negative perspective. Literally, your biological functioning, you get sicker, you see, you stay sicker longer. Positive thinking and positive perspective. You heal. You don’t get sick. I mean, it’s, the power of the mind is amazing to me in the perspective that we, we get to.
So let’s transition and look at like, okay, panel. You guys are smart. You’ve been doing this stuff for a long time. Cumulatively what? But like four lifetimes. Sure. How do we change, what’s the secret sauce to
Victoria Pendergrass: developing a positive perspective? Yes ma’am. Oh, I wasn’t gonna answer . [00:51:00]
Kasie Morgan: I like to, I like to approach perspec perspective shifting by looking at one, like core beliefs, right?
So those, those core beliefs that we’ve developed that have come from a variety of places, I think they come from ourselves, they come from others, and then it comes from the future influences on who we think we’re gonna be moving forward. . And so I think when we look at the core beliefs that we’ve developed by our experiences, I think that can help shape perspective.
But another thing that I do like to do, not to negate what you’re saying is that sometimes I do exercises with clients in the office where we do look at the other perspective, like the other sh the other thought here is like they actually could have done this intentionally to you. So let’s talk about the validity.
That thought. So we reality test kind of some of the facts that people say their perspective is based on, do you really believe that this is true? That’s R E B
Chris Gazdik: t. It is. Thanks. In the [00:52:00] essence. Yeah. Oh, you gotta say what r Rational motive Behavioral therapy. Right. Let me, let, let me set it up. R E B T is respect.
John-Nelson Pope: R E S P C T. No. It’s Rational Emotive Behavior
Chris Gazdik: Therapy. Yes. Right. It’s a whole nother philosophy that we go in with a mm-hmm. therapy direction. Yeah. And is, sorry. Be Yeah. Rational emotive stuff. Yeah. I’d,
John-Nelson Pope: I’d like to also add, add to this is that you are able it, once you start with intentionality mm-hmm.
and you say this is what I would like to change in my life. have patience and self-acceptance for yourself. Grace, because grace. Grace, because there’s gonna be setbacks, there’s gonna be two steps forward, one step back,
Kasie Morgan: two opposites
Victoria Pendergrass: attract.
John-Nelson Pope: Mm-hmm. . Yeah. . That’s right. Oh, that’s right. Yeah. She’s going up stairs.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. With the wolf. Well, to, to further that and stay with that [00:53:00] John for a second, I would say, yeah. This is, this is why this is an important and cool show here recorded on January the fifth, because people around the world are struggling two, three weeks in when life gets real. And you, you, you, you wanted to change something.
You wanted to improve something or engage something in your life, you know? Victoria, you say you don’t believe in resolutions anymore and I, I, I, I’ve said that for many years. I do believe in them, but I believe that when they, they struggle, fine, get back to them. It’s a process of, I
Victoria Pendergrass: believe more in, in, in setting it up as goals and things that you would like to achieve and then creating small steps to get to those goals.
Baby steps. Yeah, baby steps. I think when you think of a resolution, that a lot of people think that, you know, day one you have to jump into it and be successful. And I think that’s where, that’s the judgment. [00:54:00] Yeah.
Kasie Morgan: Yeah. Mm-hmm. and
Victoria Pendergrass: takes, and then like, I have to be in the gym on January 1st and like, or whatever, where, you know, if you set it up as a goal, like more of like a long-term goal, I think that it becomes more achievable for people.
John-Nelson Pope: So I think you’re saying the same thing, it’s just that you’re using a little different language.
Chris Gazdik: Yeah. Possibly. It’s a different perspective. Different perspective. But what
Kasie Morgan: I, there’s similarities, but what I do love about what John said, what I often talk to people about when they talk to me about their resolutions for the year is the word intentionality.
Mm-hmm. . Because I think if you go back every time you get to an impasse where you feel like you wanna give up on something, or I’ve fallen off the wagon, or I’m not doing this anymore and I’m starting to feel guilt and shame, I think if you go back to. What was your initial intent on like setting that goal?
Right, and because I think that sometimes we miss the undercurrent of the things that we set forward for ourselves for a new year or new beginning. And I think if the [00:55:00] intentionality behind it is being the best partner I can be for my spouse, or if it’s more so being the best physical person than I can be this year, if that’s the intentionality, then you have the opportunity every day to make a choice in that direction.
And so getting back to the issue of perspective, do you have dominion over your perspective? That’s how it’s with your intent and, and if you’re doing something on purpose every day, then you are working towards the shift in that perspective. And it doesn’t have to be. It can be very small. And I think something even on a smaller scale is that things happen like in life, right?
Like de Mar’s injury, right? Right. It just happens, right? So my intentionality for the new year might have been like, Hey, I wanna get healthier, or whatever, you know? And then something like that happens and I got a witness to that event, and I’m like, holy crap. Like your whole life, like he’s a healthy individual.
He works out all the time, right? He’s in great physical condition. So then it doesn’t matter anything if you’re [00:56:00] healthy, right? Like you, you start having all this perspective. Yeah. But the truth is, is that if my intent is to be a healthier individual, then I learn from the perspective, I take on that situation to figure out like, how do I best prepare myself or I give myself the grace and space to know that in that moment my goal can shift and I can, instead of just focusing on that focus in the immediacy of taking care of myself, that self-love and that buzzword of self-care.
Really derives from a place of narrowing down, having to take care of everything at one time to let me take care of myself in this moment.
Chris Gazdik: You know, we have a different voice on the same concept and I love that because whichever one you can hear latch onto it. Mm-hmm. , you were talking about intentionality.
Mm-hmm. Victoria, you started and Kasie went with, I use the word purposeful, like it’s what purposeful action and decision are you making? And in a therapy relationship, [00:57:00] right. Through a therapist’s eyes. We, I can say for myself, and I think we all really look at an individualized plan and in an individualized way.
With your life. Yeah. And your particular relationship. Like, I’m constantly thinking about how can we develop a plan, John, if you’re my client, in therapy, to, to look at purposeful different. behavioral choice you can make specifically with Joy. Mm-hmm. , right? That’s his wife. Yes. I thought meant like joy, your heart, , you can make a statement to my heart.
You can make a statement to Joy that we purposefully develop. Mm-hmm. and that changes your perspective. And in therapy, I’m looking for those ways. Mm-hmm. looking for those little moments because those little building blocks are what makes a major change in your perspective. That that
John-Nelson Pope: also means the therapist has to be patient.
Mm-hmm. . Oh God, yes. Yes. And very patient. So [00:58:00] sometimes it takes a long time for that, for the person, the client to see or the patient to see that that change is possible and that they have that hope.
Chris Gazdik: You know, I’m not going into it now, but I’d love to launch into a schematic or a segment here on Advocate Uhhuh for long-term therapy, Uhhuh, , or a longer term therapy, rather than some of the short stuff that.
That just Oh, agree with you brother. Freaking inadequate. But that might be another podcast episode, . Oh, how about
John-Nelson Pope: it? A series
Victoria Pendergrass: or a series? It could be a whole pod, a whole separate
Chris Gazdik: podcast, right? So let me frame this up a little bit here too again, so, so when we’re looking at developing this, that great answer guys, by the way, like I love this panel for that.
Like we, we just launched and probably covered everything we need to answer the question, how do you really develop it? But I think that we really need to be careful and move back and recognize the biological component, the biological component. [00:59:00] That’s very real in your system, sir, in your biological system, ma’am, out there listening, like if there is something that you’re dealing with, such as bipolar disorder or O C D.
Right. Yeah. Which we know to be oh my God. Ooc d save me my brain. Obsessive, obsessive, obsessive impulsive disorder. Sorry.
John-Nelson Pope: Obsessive compulsive. I’m obsessed with the fact that you didn’t remember
Chris Gazdik: this. I remember it. Just my brain impulsively rolled my eyes. Yeah. Well, I, there’s so many things to go through
Victoria Pendergrass: my brain and I just have a disorder.
Chris Gazdik: or if you have a d d, everybody knows that one, right? A tension deficit ad.
Victoria Pendergrass: I’ve had this conversation. We’ve had this conversation. These are biological,
Chris Gazdik: adhd. See, these are biological things, and that is going to drive your experience, which drives your perspective. And there’s nothing that you did wrong, right?
I mean,
Victoria Pendergrass: like something like ADHD is a neurological. condition thing. Yeah. [01:00:00] So I mean, I mean, you’re like, brain is different than someone who doesn’t have adhd. So
Chris Gazdik: learning disabilities, it’s gonna naturally
John-Nelson Pope: change or you’re differently gifted.
Kasie Morgan: Yeah. You
Chris Gazdik: have different abilities. It’s a different perspective, which you really do with I have
Victoria Pendergrass: superpowers is what it really is.
Yeah. So
my
Chris Gazdik: point here is really like, recognize and identify the biological realities because they do drive your, your perspective as well. And then, and then identifying the barriers I really thought about with, with what directly prevents this in your life. Domestic violence, for instance. Mm-hmm. , that’s gonna act as a major barrier in your, in your perspective in life when you’re constantly experiencing violence in your life.
Victoria Pendergrass: Well, and if you ever get out of that relationship, it’s gonna change your perspective on any future relationships that you have. How it can Absolutely. And how you approach those relationships. And so,
Chris Gazdik: Absolutely. It can become a, a [01:01:00] cycle, cycle, , family of origin. When you, when you have a mama or a papa, a mom or dad that have alcohol or drug related issues, that dramatically impacts, we said family dynamics, right?
Your, your perspective. So these are, these are things that you really want to recognize. And, and then we talked about, you know, a little bit in depth the, the purposefulness of, of the choices that you make with your behavior sentences like we were talking about
Kasie Morgan: before. But I, I would arguably say that a change in perspective can often shift your biology.
So even though you have a disorder or you have a diagnosis, or you have something that impacts like your mental health in that way, There are things that you can do to shift the re reaction of your nervous system in the moment to become resilient in your own life and take dominion over your perspective.
When
John-Nelson Pope: I work with a lot of my clients, they have struggles with, [01:02:00] I’m depressed, I’m anxious, I’m, and I say, what do you exercise? Do you do? Yep. Do you eat right? Do you, do you, do you take that time out to, to meditate? Yeah. And so that’s, I I’m wondering if that’s what you’re thinking
Kasie Morgan: too, or, oh, absolutely.
Yeah. Like you treat the whole person. The first thing I ask someone is, when was your last physical? Like, if you haven’t had. Like even blood work done in the last like year, two years, three years, five thyroid, five years, like thyroid stuff. Like there are so many things that could be going on in within you and outside of you that are directly impacting you.
Mm-hmm. . And so I think as therapists it is irresponsible to not focus on treating the whole person, the whole person and, and talking about diet and exercise. Just like when I have people that come to me and say, I don’t wanna do medication. Okay, cool. Let’s talk about what you can naturally do for yourself.
Like what have you tried, go root, magnesium, turmeric, like all kinds of things that you can do for [01:03:00] yourself that you can try before even consideration for that. How about some coping skills? I can’t even
John-Nelson Pope: pronounce what you said.
Kasie Morgan: Ashwaganda. Yeah. Yeah. It’s very effective for.
Chris Gazdik: You know, chronic pain is another one of these types of things that you think about that, you know, opioid and chronic pain treatment with opioid use.
I, I literally just came across this today as something that is a driving force potentially in the way that you’re experiencing things. Cuz this person’s irritability level has been increasing and rising over the last few years. And I’m like, well yeah, we know that there’s a biological reality of this.
You know, it’s interesting, we were talking about nutrition and the effect of your, on your mental health. Did you happen to see that? Mm-hmm. . That’s really, check that out. Cilla was awesome when she was with us. I think that was the last show that we did. And it, it made me curious to think around the world, we have a first line treatment in the medical profession of exercise that’s here.
[01:04:00] We do in the states generally, you know, a pill or whatnot, you know, around the world. Is it not possible to say that nutrition might, could be second? , first treatment, exercise. Second line of treatment is your nutrition, and then you get to a medical intervention or these other things. It’s just rhetorical.
Mm-hmm. . Yeah. But there’s, there’s, there’s all these things kind of working together that, that I hope you kind of gained a little bit of perspective about. Yeah.
Kasie Morgan: And also, not to open up that can of worms, but if you’re gonna take a diet, think about dieting from your social media too. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. For another podcast.
Thank you. Anyway, ,
John-Nelson Pope: I resolved to
Chris Gazdik: do better. That’s all we’re trying to do. Closing thoughts, guys. And I think I’m gonna try to take us outta here. Okay.
Kasie Morgan: Run the day or else the day we’ll run you. How’s that? For
Chris Gazdik: some perspective, there is a lot of memes and quotes and phrases that are really cool out there.
For sure. Listen, 2023 has begun, [01:05:00] and we do have an empowered, purposeful, intentional way to go through not only today, but this year and the following years throughout this journey that you have in your life, please feel better and empowered and to develop a positive perspective that might afford you better health, peace, love, and everything else that you’re really looking for.
It’s a powerful reality that affects us most every day and most things that we do through the day. So take heed, have grace with yourself, be patient with yourself, and throughout this next year and the rest to follow, we’re here with you to figure it out together. May you have a better perspective today than you had yesterday?
Be well. We’ll talk to you soon and take care.
Kasie Morgan: Happy
Victoria Pendergrass: bye. Happy New Year.